Thursday, September 1, 2011

Day 8: When God Shoves You Out the Window

I've heard the phrase a thousand and one times, "When God closes a door, He opens a window." Well, lately, it kind of feels like He closed the door, and I didn't get the hint. So, He's just shoving me out of the window. And, I'm sure there's a tree outside that I can grab onto, climb, and find an open window to crawl into somewhere. However, it's very uncomfortable to say the least. And, it truly is helping me grow, become stronger, draw closer to Him, and find my place in this World. But, I must admit that there is the temptation to resist, to hold my arms and legs against the frame and yell, "No! I'm not going! I'm going to stay exactly where I am." And, the more I fight to keep my life just how it is, the more the frame starts to give way, giving me nothing left to hold onto. Through it all, I've noticed that I have a group of friends and family standing outside yelling, "You can do it! It's okay! Just go for it!" I'm giving in and resisting the urge to resist. I'm not running away from my problems. I'm not throwing in the towel. I'm recognizing that the building is falling apart, and if I don't get out RIGHT NOW, it's going to crumble down on top of me.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Day 7: Where Did I Go?

As I reflect on journals and sketch pads from high school, my early 20's, and then a few years ago, I tend to ask myself, "Where did SHE go?" She was so cool, so inspired, so creative.

I think she's still in there somewhere, but she's really covered up in a pile of stress. Stress about how to pay the bills. Stress about how to be a good mom. Stress about dealing with the Ex.

I'm very afraid of getting so far away from "Her" that she's lost forever. What can I do to get her back?